Christina Aguilera’s new album ‘Bionic’ has a lot of great songs on it. Unfortunately it also has a lot of not-so-great songs on it too. Today’s song of the moment ‘Vanity’ is one of the former. It’s probably about as ‘Britney’ as Christina will ever get - which is a very good thing – although Spears herself doesn’t possess the strength or conviction in her voice to pull it off.
‘Vanity’ is an ode to loving yourself; accepting that there’s nothing wrong with that and reminding people that you’re f*cking amazing. The last track on the disc, it packs an electro pop swagger that not only makes it one of ‘Bionic’s more authentic numbers, but one of its gayest too. It’s a provocative, hilarious F-U ego trip, best listened to when strutting down an unpleasant street, surrounded by unsightly people as a reminder that you are far too fabulous to be there. One of the best moments is close to the end of the track when Aguilera talk-sings “Let us not forget - who owns the thrown” – a defiant statement perhaps aimed at another blond native New Yorker? In fact the only let-down in ‘Vanity’ is straight after that line, when you hear Christina’s son Max respond “you do mommy”. A sweet gesture, however it’s completely inappropriate in a song including the lines “I’m a bad-ass b*tch” “that b*tch is so f*cking pretty” and “ain’t nobody got sh*t on me”. The word “B*tch” actually appears in the song 10 times.
It’ll be interesting to see if ‘Bionic’ becomes a hit album, as so far it’s failed to make an impact the way Christina and her label had anticipated. The problem is that Aguilera promised us an electro-pop album and what we got was a pop/r’n’b album with a few electro moments - it seems a case of her label having one idea for the disc and Christina having another. What’s clear is that with more songs that sound like ‘Vanity’ ‘Bionic’ would be a much better listen than what it is.
Remember “if the shoe fits – wear it b*tch!”
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